In the summer issue of WEDDING NOUVEAU Magazine, we featured an exciting array of real fusion wedding stories from cultures as distinct as Brazil, Mexico, India, Australia, Congo and more. One of the weddings that graced our pages was that of Tolu and Mack, who provided way too much detail to squeeze into eight pages. So we’re sharing more, here.
{Above: Wedding Nouveau Magazine, Summer 2011}
What sold me on Tolu and Mack’s wedding was the level of authenticity that came through in each candid shapshot. From their symbolic June 12th elopement (in honor of Loving Day) that kicked it all off to the festive entertainment of their traditional Nigerian wedding in Maryland (the focus of today’s feature).
It’s a symphony in three parts: “The introduction” in which the groom’s family presents themselves to the bride’s; “The Engagement” in which the couple are married in the eyes of tradition; and a flashback to “The Elopement.” Let’s begin with the attire, shall we? To say “I love head wraps” would be a gross understatement, but when it’s embraced by family who wouldn’t normally wear it?…let’s just say that I may be in heaven right now.
Tolu: Our November engagement with our families allowed us to really capture the meaning of not only our marriage, but the marriage of our two families. We began the festivities with a joint Thanksgiving dinner and celebration of both of our fathers’ 70th birthdays (which occurred within a month of one another). The engagement ceremony was a beautiful opportunity to internalize the merging of two cultures, two families, two histories, two people. The tradition brought every member of our respective families closer together and allowed us to honor our loved ones while also further incorporating my Nigerian heritage into our relationship.
The wedding ceremony that followed was important to us because we always intended to exchange vows in the presence of our families. During our elopement, we exchanged our traditional vows, but saved our ring exchange and personal vows for our November ceremony. It was beautiful to not only include our nieces and nephews as our wedding party, Mackinnon’s father as his Best Man, and my only brother as my “Man-of-honor,” but we had the opportunity to share a very intimate and important moment with the people most precious to us.
As part of the “Introduction”, dowry gifts from the groom’s family or “owo-ori-iyawo” (see above) are presented to the bride’s family as a token of appreciation and gratitude. In years past, the amount and quality of these “gifts” could be the difference between a fruitful marriage and generations of family feuding. Today, these gifts are more symbolic than anything. The “engagement ceremony” then takes place right after the introduction in which both parties are dressed in much more formal Nigerian attire or “aso oke” (purple attire).
Tolu: Our biggest challenges were time, distance, and navigating cultural differences (i.e. Nigerian guest invitations are printed with a start time 2 hours in advance of the event to accommodate the relaxed approach to attending such events; whereas, American guest invitations are printed with the actual start time to accommodate the prompt approach to arriving at such events).
Traditional style is about re-inventing what’s been done for years, and making it your own. In many fusion weddings, the symbolism behind marriage has more to do with the coming together of different families, including their expectations, fears, dreams, faith, humanity and love. However, at the end of the day, the zenith of that love is tucked away as secret “till death do part” for the bride and her chosen partner.
…For Tolu and Mack, that secret was a kiss…an eloped kiss…a kiss to build a dream on.
A FEW MONTHS EARLIER…
{CREDITS: Elopement – Jessamyn Harris; Traditional Wedding – Tunji Sarumi; Full Wedding details in Wedding Nouveau Magazine, Summer 2011}
Can’t get enough? Read the full story in your print or digital copy of Wedding Nouveau Magazine today. Or you can feast your eyes on a beach side Nigerian-Chinese wedding that everyone’s buzzin’ about.
Have a wonderful day, everyone.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I love the “merging” and honoring of the cultures. Awesome, and very beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
this is nice thanks for sharing